I had a spare 45 minutes or so until my kids get up from their naps so I thought I'd write a little, and I was surprised when I logged on to find that my blog has two followers now. When did that happen? When I shut up, apparently. I guess this means I should be a little more intentional about updating it. So here goes.
Writing "a little" would be an improvement over absolutely nothing, which is what I've been writing for the last few months. I've missed it, and while I would often recall how good it feels to sit down with a hot cup of coffee and bang out something on the keyboard I just didn't have the energy to come up with a worthy topic. I could say that the holiday season wiped me out and that would be true, but it was more than that. Life has been a bit overwhelming, at least in my head.
We've attempted and, so far, failed to potty train our 3-year-old, which only feels like a big deal because we can't enroll her in preschool this fall unless she's completely diaper-free. Any bets on whether that will transpire? We've bribed her with all manner of candy, stickers and toys while practically having a parade through the living room when she has a success. But frankly, this girl really isn't motivated to keep it up. My latest move of desperation is in reading Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day - Proven Secrets of the Potty Pro. It seems a stretch to me, but what do I know compared to a pro?
We've now added food battles to our daily entertainment, as both kids have decided to eat virtually nothing but peanut butter sandwiches. Here, I've enlisted the help of Jessica Seinfeld, Jerry's wife and author of Deceptively Delicious, a book about hiding pureed vegetables in just about everything, including brownies. We're giving it a whirl, although I had a misstep the other night when I set out to make a veggie-laden meatloaf. Our small group was coming over in two hours and I still hadn't pureed my veggies yet. So I started steaming the cauliflower and carrots at 4 p.m., but by the time I finished with the purees it was nearly 5 p.m., leaving no time to cook the meal. So here I was with a house that wreaked of cauliflower and only leftovers to feed my children, who of course didn't eat them.
This blog has been empty since last fall, except for the New Year's Eve message. And that, of course, was a must because it's the closest I may ever come to sending out Christmas cards like the ones we receive from friends and family - the quarter-folded pieces with professional photos of their families and stuffed with full-page update letters. I can't tell you how I love and appreciate those cards, by the way. Those take considerable funds and effort to send out, and please know that I keep them. I'm just not that together yet. Sigh.
Life just weighs us down sometimes. The economy stinks. People close to us get sick; some of them don't make it. Marriages struggle; some of them don't make it. People are killing one another worldwide, and practically in our back yards. With all due respect to Louis Armstrong, I find the world to be less than wonderful.
For my part, for the last few months I've been spending time both on top of mountains and deep in valleys, spiritually. I've felt wrung out, which is not necessarily a bad thing. That's the place where one finally gives up trying to control life and hands it over to the Lord. It's also the place where I find myself nuzzling into Him for comfort and to just feel safe. The really cool thing is that He responds in the most incredible way - by showing me His heart. What an awesome God, who takes what is ugly and makes it beautiful in His time!
Having said all that, my two followers, I just may emerge from my funk to write more often. Sorry about the delay :)
