Sing

Surrounded by your glory what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus, or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah?' Will I be able to speak at all?"
I Can Only Imagine is one of my favorite worship songs of all time because it really makes me think about what it will be like to finally be where I was created to be. And I have a sneaking suspicion I'll be one who will be speechless in His presence. Maybe part of that comes from recognizing that after all these years of spending so many words honoring myself down here, it will be fitting to have my silence honor Him there. But the other reason I think I'll be silent is because I can't get through Revelation Song without my voice cracking into broken sobs.
It's not that I'm shy, and there's not even a hint of timidity in me when I sing. In fact, I probably belt it out a little too much. I seem to remember a choir director from my past saying to a group I was in that in a really great choir, a listener shouldn't be able to pick out any one voice. And I'm fairly certain that was said for my benefit, to no avail. I love to sing and I love to worship, but sometimes I wonder if I'm singing with the right audience in mind. Revelation Song seems to jerk me into proper perspective.
So if you were to glance at me singing it during worship service at Southeast Christian Church, chances are that while my mouth is moving there may not be any actual sound coming out of it. It usually happens during the chorus:
Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is and is to come.
With all creation I sing praise to the King of Kings.
You are my everything, and I will adore you.
That first line is what John wrote that the six-winged creatures continually said as they surrounded the throne of God. And while I can sing this song to my babies when I'm rocking them to sleep, being in a sanctuary with about 7,000 other people singing it renders me mute. It gives me a striking sense of what it will be like to be in God's presence among all His people - each one of whom is repeating that same refrain of the angels - and it's a feeling so ovewhelming that I can't make a sound.
And to those who wonder why I'm crying as we leave the sanctuary, it's because all I can do is hope the Lord gives me the ability to sing in His presence. I'd like to sing that song to Him all day.